Wednesday, July 19, 2017

It's Day 4 of my Radical Self-Love Project

It's day 4 of my radical self-love project and this morning I'm laughing a little at my using the word "radical". It's early days, it's baby steps, but just the fact that I'm concentrating on loving myself at all is a kind of radical rebellion against how I've been thinking and treating myself for the five decades I've been alive. Even after only three days I'm starting to pay better attention to how I treat myself and most definitely how I think about myself. While I've been eating well for the past year because of my fibromyalgia I can still improve and every time I put something in my I think about what it is, and  it's not in that judgy wudgy way I used to. I feel a genuine need to eat what supports my body.


Morning

I've been back at work for eight weeks and I find that I'm starting to get tired from it. I've started to sleep better at night which is great, but I have to watch that I don't get too involved in the work itself. I keep hearing my father's words from two days ago. "Taking a step back in position is a step forward if it means you suffer from less stress especially of you're earning the same money as you did as a manager. You're doing great." If you'd asked me before my birthday this year I would never had said that my father is a truly inspirational man but he is. I'm healing the relationship with him and I'm healing a family wound.

So here we go as I head into a new day:

I like that I can forgive myself and my father so we can grow closer.

I like that I decided to do this. It's early days but I think it will teach me a lot of good things.

I like that I want to take better care of myself and that I'm determined to love myself.

I like that I almost automatically stand up for people in the workplace.

I like that I smile a lot because it makes me feel better when people smile back at me.

And, this is a bonus one, I really like my hair!


Evening

I'm truly conscious of having thrown up what sounds an awful lot like new age nonsense this morning. To quote myself, "I'm healing the relationship with him and I'm healing a family wound". I feel a little dirty but it does have a ring of truth to it.

I'm sleeping better suddenly but I'm also tired when I get home from work. It seems that settling into a routine with going back to work has happened, and that I can probably start relaxing a bit about fearing the whole getting sick again. I'm not quite at the stage where I feel adventurous again but it may just be heading that. Anyway, this evening I like this things about me:

I like my hair. Yep, it's back on top of the list.

I like that I feel a lot happier nowadays.

I like my sense of humour.

I like that I'm a friendly person and that I have pretty much got over my social anxiety.

I like that I don't fret over work anymore and that I have a bigger plan for my life than just my career.

I'd still like you to join me in this and let me know what you like about yourself. Go on! You know you want to! I'm just saying.

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